Clothing Jokes


What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?

His wife is good at picking out clothes.

Nice Bike

Two engineering students meet on campus one day. The first engineer calls out to the other, “Hey nice bike! Where did you get it?”

“Well,” replies the other, “I was walking to class the other day when this pretty, young coed rides up on this bike. She jumps off, takes off all of her clothes, and says ‘You can have anything you want!'”

“Good choice,” says the first, “her clothes wouldn’t have fit you anyway.”

Young Woman And Her Lover

As they were walking down the street, the young woman said to her lover, “Why won’t you buy me a fur coat? I’m so cold.”

Her boyfriend sniffed, “If you knew the answer, why’d you bother asking?”


“And if I didn’t wear a halter top and tight jeans,” asked the girl, “would you still find me appealing?”

“Let’s find out,” the man replied gamely.

Dating With Southern Girl

Dating the first southern girl he’d ever known, the Yankee was surprised when she greeted him at the door in the lowest-cut gown he’d ever seen.

“Th-that’s a lovely dress,” he stuttered, his eyes on her ample bosom. “Sho’ nough,” she replied. To which he answered, “I’ll say”.

Unique Garment

Then there was the furrier who, for a very special client, crossed a mink with a gorilla to produce a unique garment. The fur was spectacular, but, alas, the sleeves were too long.

Tight Dress

As the bus pulled up, Angie realized she was going to have a difficult time getting on. Her dress was too tight for her to step up, her hands were full of packages, and the line of people behind her did not seem to be in a charitable mood.

She realized that the best thing to do was to try to loosen her dress so, with great effort, she stretched her hand behind her and pulled the zipper down halfway. When that didn’t seem to help, she pulled it down the rest of the way.

Just then the bus pulled up and, still unable to ascend, she was both shocked and offended when a man standing behind her picked her up and put her on the bus.

Turning, she growled, “What right did you have to touch me?”

The man climbed on and said, “Well, after you pulled my fly down I kind of figured we were good friends.”

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