❤ A little girl at a wedding asked, “Mommy, why do brides always wear white?” The mom replied, “Because they’re happy, dear.”

Halfway through the wedding the girl whispered, “Mommy, if brides wear white because they’re happy, then why do men wear black?”

❤ A young couple were married and then embarked on their honeymoon. When they returned, the bride ran to the phone and called her mother, who asked, “How was your honeymoon, dear?” “Oh, mama!” she replied, “The honeymoon was so wonderful and romantic…” But then, suddenly she burst out crying and said “but, mama, as soon as we returned home, he started using the most horrible language… things I’d never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You’ve got to come get me and take me home. Please mama!”

“Darling, darling,” her mother said, “calm down and tell me, what words could be so awful?” And, the daughter cried “please don’t make me tell you, mama! I’m so embarrassed – they’re just too awful! Just come and get me, please!”

“Oh, darling, you must tell me what has you so upset… tell me these horrible 4-letter words!” Still sobbing, the bride said, “Oh, mama… words like DUST, WASH, IRON, COOK…!”

❤ Three men were at a bar. Two of the men were discussing the control they had over their wives, while the third remained uninterested.

After a short while, the two men turned to the third and asked, “What about you? What kind of control do you have over your wife?” The third man turned to the first two and said, “Well, just the other day I had her on her knees!”

The two men were dumbfounded. “Wow that’s incredible! What happened next?” they asked. The third man took a healthy swig of his beer, sighed and grumbled, “Then she started screaming at me to get out from under the bed and fight like a man!”