Jokes about Apparel

A busty girl in a tight, low-cut dress is at a party with her boyfriend. “Bit crowded, ” she says. “Yes,” he replies. “But it suits you.”

A man comes home from work sporting two black eyes. “What happened to you?” asks his wife. “I’ll never understand women,” he replies. “I was riding on the escalator behind this pretty young girl, when I noticed her skirt was stuck in the crack of her ass. So I pulled it out, and she turned around and punched me in the eye!” “I see, and how did you get the second black eye?” asks his wife. He replies, “Well, I figured she liked it that way, so I pushed it back in again.”

A man walks into an army surplus store and asks if they have any camouflage jackets. “Yes, we do,” replies the assistant. “But we can’t find any of them.”

A shy young country boy is invited to a night-club where all the girls are wearing extremely lowcut outfits. One of the girls comes up to him and says, “I bet you never seen anything like this before.” The boy replies, “Well no, not since I was weaned.”

A teenager buys a tiny bikini and tries it on. “What do you think?” she says to her mother. “What do I think?” replies mother. “I think if I’d worn that when I was your age, you’d be five years older.”

A woman catches a train and finds herself sitting opposite a little old Scotsman wearing a kilt. “Excuse me,” she says. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but I always wanted to know what a man wears under one of these things.” The Scotsman replies, “I’m a man o” few words, madam. Give me yer hand…”

Before short skirts came into fashion you had to listen if you wanted to know if a girl was knock-kneed.

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